How To Sext According To Our Community

So, Is Everybody Sexting?

No, not everybody! In a recent Smile Makers Instagram poll, of nearly 400 participants, 41% shared they hadn’t sexted in the past 12 months. However, 78% gave a big ‘yay’ to sexting in general. As true sext-advocates, we thought we’d ask those members of our community to share their sexting tips and inspiration – because where better to get some sext advice than from your sex-positive peers?

20 Benefits of Sexting

We asked our community sexters what they enjoy the most about their sexy typing sessions, here’s they came up with:

• I love how safe it is! Don’t have to worry about STIs
• The excitement and proximity even if you are miiiiiles away
• Putting imagination and fantasy into words
• Having a cheeky conversation with my partner at any time makes me feel sexy
• Sharing unadmitted fantasies and learning about my partner’s
• Explicit communication about what I want & what my partner wants
• It’s very titillating and spontaneous
• Good way to learn about each other’s fantasies and desires
• Often non-commital (and covid friendly!)
• Still have the connection with someone without the risk of covid
• Practicing asking what you want/describing what you want
• I love how it really broadens my dirty talk for in person stuff
• The comfort of not having to make eye contact if you don’t like something or are embarrassed
• The detail of the description, it turns me on so much
• The way words can arouse you all on their own
• Easier to perform (reach climax) without judgement
• Being able to really think about what you want and write it down
• Enjoy seeing what my partner is fantasizing about me. Easier to understand him as a person
• Surviving covid and no worries of STIs
• Everything

Sexting Etiquette

First things first, just like any IRL sexual interaction, make sure it’s consensual from both you and the other person. Being open-minded to new experiences doesn’t mean you have to ignore uncomfortable feelings, if something doesn’t feel right – or you don’t want to partake – don’t. Keep in mind that messaging, like actual partner sex, is supposed to be pleasurable and stimulating for you both.

When’s the Best Time to Sext?

Okay, so you’re keen to get in on these feel-good advantages but you’re not sure when to do kick things off? As we mentioned earlier, make sure it’s consensual – and respectful of the other person’s time or surroundings. Check in to see if now’s good timing, and whether they’ve got an appropriate set-up to give the sext session the attention it deserves!

Many of our sexters noted night time as their favorite time to get frisky over the phone, just before sleep. We all know that orgasms are a great way to send us off to the land of nod! As mentioned, sexting also creates space for spontaneity – midday musings make for a great afternoon pick-me-up, whilst some sexters are turning to their phones rather than the refrigerator for their midnight snacks – yesss!

The most common answer? ‘Any time! Whenever I’m in the mood.’.

What If You Don’t Fancy Being Wordy?

Writing is an erotic creative output that allows us to run with our imagination, but there’s more to sexting than just words. Sometimes we can’t quite find the words, or we just can’t be bothered to type things out, perhaps our hands get a little full, if things are going well; what about other ways we can communicate through the phone? Here’s some tips...

• Easy on the eyes, stimulate all the senses with a visual or two. Many of our sexters are fans of pictures, but why? ‘I find it easier than coming up with sexy texts.’. Sending nudes or cute selfies can help us with our sexy stories, but it’s important to ensure you trust the recipient and vice versa. One useful tip mentioned was to not include your face, but a bit of privacy if you need it!
• Videos are also popular as you can do a little show and tell to your partner, and could help teach them how you like to be touched and where! One suggestion was to send the kind of porn that you’re watching to the person, so you can watch together – a sexy take on a Netflix party!
• If you can’t write it, say it with words! ‘Voice notes are underrated.’ claimed one sexter and it looks like others agree. Sending and receiving the sounds of self-pleasure such as moans or breathing can help you imagine the person beside you - another vocal perk being that you can go hands-free and close your eyes.
• Fancy something a bit more mindful? If you’re feeling thoughtful, or want to champion the good old days of snail mail, send a sexy love letter in the post. Three of our sexters have penned their sessions down on paper, and one once sent her partner an embroidery – taking nudes to a whole new artsy level!