How To Have An Orgasm

A sexologist's tips to find your own ways to orgasm!

A sexologist's tips to find your own ways to orgasm!

Many women report that having an orgasm is not that easy for her. This, in fact, is quite normal… Woman is not “built” to have an orgasm as easily as a man: unlike ejaculation, woman orgasm is not necessary conceive – even if it helps.

But still, many women think they have a problem because they don’t “come” each time they make love. Porn and erotic media play a big part in this false belief, showing women always ready, always hot, always reaching climax. This is a totally inaccurate image: in fact, woman orgasm is not automatic, far from it. For most women, how to have an orgasm must be learned.

All right. But how to learn it?

Find your way to have an orgasm by yourself

Big part of the secret is to learn to know yourself. For that, you must touch yourself, so you can discover what kind of caress you like: strong, rapid, soft, vigorous, …

How to have an orgasm by yourself

These are some playing rules to respect:

  • Be “totally” there: turn off your phone and the lights. Blindfold yourself if it helps. This exercise works only if you are in the moment, focusing on sensations. The less you are distracted, the best it is.
  • Set a timer for, let’s say, 10 minutes: this will help to get out of your head the goal of reaching climax. The objective, in the first place, is not to have an orgasm. When the timer is over, you stop, even though you haven’t come. Your mind must be only focus on the strokes and touches that you are giving to yourself. This is the best way to determine what you like and you don’t, so that it will be easier for you to have an orgasm in the future.
  • Step by step, you will identify the touches and caresses that turn you on. After a while, when you feel that you’re open to your sensations, let the orgasm comes when it comes. Let go when it doesn’t. Pleasure is good, even without climax.

How to have an orgasm is a question to which we all have a personal answer, and we cannot find it if we never take the time to pay attention to it!

Explore with your partner roads to the Big O

How to have an orgasm with your partner

This time, big part of the secret is … to communicate.

Now that you know yourself and what you like or don’t, tell your partner. This is the best way to improve the quality of your intercourses.

  • Use several ways of communication: talk about sex is not always easy. If you don’t find the words, use your hand to guide his own.
  • Speak positively: instead of “not like that”, “not there”, “less strong”, say “I prefer this way”, “there, it’s so good”, “when it’s soft, it turns me on”… It will help him not to feel incompetent.
  • Give yourself a hand: most of the women (70%) need an external stimulation to reach climax. According to the latest findings about the clitoris, this is entirely understandable given the anatomy of the female sex. Feel thus free to touch yourself during sex, or ask your partner to do so.

It is by releasing yourself from the pressure to have an orgasm and by taking the time by yourself and with your partner that you can learn your own personal way to the big O!