Anal sex is one sexual practice that raises the most questions: Is it normal? Why is it so exciting for men? Is it enjoyable for women? Are there risks? And, above all, what can I do to enjoy it?
Well… the first thing to know is that you don’t have to like it. And you won’t if you force yourself to do it. Really.
Wanting to try the position out? These are some tips to make it a positive experience.
#1 – First, do it for you
Anal sex can be a positive experience only if you are curious about it and open to this kind of new experiment. Don’t do it only to please your partner, or to make him love you more. If he insists, tell him, “no”.
#2 – Use a condom
A condom is the best way to avoid the downsides of anal sex. Of course, this kind of practice without protection can increase the risk of contact with bacteria. Hygiene is important. Thus, use a condom, and go to the bathroom afterwards to wash yourself, or even take a shower with your partner! It’ll create a nice opportunity to cuddle some more.
#3 – Extend foreplay
Don’t try anal sex without taking the time to prepare your body. And for that, foreplay is key: it will increase your desire and awake your body to new sensations. Kissing, caressing, licking…whatever builds up your excitement and desire. The more aroused you are, the more you will be ready to enjoy this new experience.
#4 – Use a lubricant formulated for anal sex
Anal sex requires good lubrication. Otherwise, it can be painful. If it hurts, you – and your body – will obviously not feel keen to try again. Use a thick lubricant which will provide good cushioning and will not dry quickly.
#5 – Relax
Simple but essential: just relax. Not only will it help you enjoy the moment, but it will also help your body – and your anus – to relax. The more you are relaxed and comfortable, the better the experience will be. Breathe, don’t overthink, just enjoy the moment and all the sensations of this intimate time with your partner!
#6 – Go step by step
When it comes to anal penetration, the first step hurts the most: getting the head of the penis inserted can be painful. Breathing deeply and relaxing can help a lot. After this first step, the pain should stop. Otherwise, pause for a moment, and take the time to increase your desire with other types of stimulation. Come back to anal sex when you are really aroused and excited.
#7 – Test several positions for anal sex
Many women report that the position is key to enjoying anal sex. Most of them say that lying flat on their stomach is their favorite position to get started with anal sex. After a while, some of them experiment with the “doggy style”, and even missionary, with their legs straight up in the air and knees bent. Do note that this last position is the one that can hurt the most, so it will take some warming up to do so.
But each woman has her own preferences, and you must test different things to know what you like the best. Think about positions where clitoral stimulation is possible – the more excited you are, the better the sex will be. The Andromaque position, where a woman is on top, is a good way for her to keep control of the rhythm.
#8 – Don’t be afraid of a (rare) natural phenomenon
Many women are afraid about the risk of…pooping during anal sex. Besides the fact that it is rare, know that your partner is aware about the risks. If, by misfortune, there is a “pooping incident”, it’s not a big deal and is totally natural. Just be respectful of keeping proper hygiene.
#9 – Don’t mix things up
As a first rule of cleanliness, do not go from vaginal to anal sex and back again, even with a condom. Want to return to vaginal penetration after anal sex? The penis must be first washed to prevent risk of a UTI or yeast infection.
#10 – If you don’t like it, don’t do it again
Tried it but didn’t like the experience? It’s no big deal. Really. Your partner must understand that it is not your cup of tea. And, once again, they must respect your opinion. Your body is yours, and your pleasure no less important than theirs!
Written by Charlotte Creplet, sex therapist at Sexocorner