While they were taboo a few years ago, vibrators and sex toys are now appreciated for their value: they are tools that can enhance and spice up our sex life with our significant other. However, before making the step to use them as a couple, many people have interrogations about how to break the idea to their partner, and get started. A sex therapist answers for us some popular questions we have when it comes to inviting these new guests into our bedroom!
What can sex toys bring to our sex life?
Good stuff … or less good stuff. It depends on how they are used and perceived. A vibrator, or another type of sex toy, can be a great accessory to spice up your sex life in a couple, discover new sensations, explore new types of pleasures or new fantasies. But this holds true if the toy remains what it is: a tool to enhance couple play. Not if it becomes the object of desire more than the partner.
How to suggest to your partner the introduction of a vibrator without being ashamed or give them the impression that he or she can not satisfy me?
It is a delicate question that many people ask themselves, which is difficult to answer as the sensitivities of every one is different. What matters is that the decision is lived as a common one, exciting for both parties. For this, what can help is to suggest to your SO that you choose the sex toy together, and to make it a special moment for your couple where you both explore your personal erotic part in your relationship.
What types of toys exist for women, men, …?
Tons! And new models are released daily. Sex toys can be internal or external, vibrating or not, pulsating, sucking, providing single or double stimulation, made of silicone or metal, … More widely, erotic accessories are not limited to vibrators or dildos: a stimulating gel, a clip-on nipple or a penis ring are also toys that can spice up a couple’s sex life.
How to choose? Are there any precaution to take to use a vibrator?
The first precaution to take is to follow the instructions provided. The second is not to use silicone-based lubricant with a silicone sex toy. And the third … is to respect both partners’ limits. Using a sex toy with which one feels uncomfortable may do more harm than good. Start by discovering it together, to see how you BOTH feel with your new toy.
How do other couples use sex toys in bed?
In soooo many ways! Some use sex toys only during foreplay, at other times during intercourse, together or separately, on oneself or on the other … No matter what others do. What matters is finding your own way of playing together, respecting everyone’s limits. To do this, take the time to talk about it as openly as possible.
Written by Charlotte Creplet, sex therapist at Sexocorner
Interested to read more from her? She shares more sex tips for women on our blog!