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Our mission is to normalise the perception of female sexuality. Part of our work is to create friendly intimate products for women to enjoy their sex lives. Part of our work is to make available reliable and quality content on female sexuality by working with experts and asking them YOUR questions! The female orgasm is a focal point of many of your questions, and the objects of many more myths. That we address with this week’s post.
Even though research has jumped in recent years, human orgasm remains a mystery that feeds a lot of misconceptions… that are not always working for our pleasure. Here are some myths about the female orgasm, put to the test by a sexologist.
False. Neither women nor man climax every time they have sex. Orgasm is not an end in itself: what is fulfilling in the sexual intercourse is the whole journey, not just the destination. And actually, more often than not, the more we focus on having an orgasm, the less pleasure we get from the experience: being O-focused disconnects us from the present moment and keeps us from being conscious of our sensations.
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False. The female orgasm is not necessarily an explosion of sensations that makes you quake, cry, or lose consciousness. This kind of waves of intense pleasure is even rather rare. The orgasm can cause a pleasure with very variable intensity, from very strong to minimal, even non-existent. It is even possible that the “symptoms” of a physiological orgasm occur- uncontrolled vaginal contractions for the woman, ejaculation for the man – without necessarily feeling pleasure from it. To hope for the big O every time is wishful thinking, and even counterproductive: again, by focusing on the result rather than on the moment, you simply risk disconnecting yourself from your sensations.
Perhaps. Climaxing at the same time as your partner is often experienced as a very intense experience. But it is very rare, as it requires a fine sexual communication, and a capacity for each partner to modulate their excitement. Seeking at all costs to climax together can therefore bring more frustration than satisfaction. But if by chance, you get to experience it, it’s definitely the icing on the cake!
False. An orgasm is work! A woman needs on average a minimum of twenty minutes to reach a threshold of excitement conducive to orgasm. Foreplay are therefore very important. In addition, the more a woman knows herself, the easier her access to orgasm will be: by knowing what is good for her, she can guide her partner, and increase her threshold of excitement.
True but so what? Simulating is, in fact, not a good idea. Misleading your partner to think you’re experiencing great pleasure when you’re not simply distorts communication. You partner will then tend to reproduce the same moves, since they seem to work on you. And the vicious circle closes: it becomes difficult to communicate to them that in fact, you would prefer something else. In bed, nothing like honesty if you want to be fulfilled.
The female orgasm is the physiological response to sexual arousal, at its maximum phase. To reach this seventh heaven, the woman goes through phases of excitement that goes crescendo until reaching a threshold where orgasm becomes possible.
Sexual arousal usually results in vaginal lubrication, lengthening and widening of the vagina, widening of the labia majora, enlargement of the labia minora and clitoris, which are filled with blood, and increasing the volume and hardening of the nipples. Physiologically, an orgasm is a series of rhythmic and involuntary contractions of the vaginal muscles that occur when the excitement reaches its apotheosis. These contractions may be accompanied by redness of the chest or neck, sweating, rapid heartbeat or breathing, and sometimes even tears.
Written by Charlotte Creplet, sex therapist at Sexocorner
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Vaginal stimulation, clitoral play, labia sensitivity…. as we design our vibrators for women,we stay up-to-date with the latest research on female anatomy and pleasure by working with the medical community. Sensual toys are great tools to explore one’s body, but having access to reliable knowledge about sex and anatomy is key to unlock one’s pleasure potential. That’s why we invite sexologists on our blog. This week, we talk clitoral vs vaginal orgasm: what’s the real deal?
Solo female orgasm starts with self love and self awareness. Learn from the expert on female erogenous zones and how to give yourself an orgasm!
As we create vibrators for female orgasm, we’re amazed to keep on discovering how rich and various women’s pleasure potential is. Far from the cliche belief that the female orgasm is complex and shrouded in mystery, talking with sexologists has taught us that in fact, the female body is fitted to unleash wonderful experiences.