How To Use A Vibrator For The First Time
How To Use A Vibrator For The First Time
Advice To Explore New Pleasures With Your Sex Toy
After researching and finding the ONE, you have welcomed your first vibrator into your home. That’s an exciting moment and bound to become even more exciting. It can also feel a bit intimidating: where and how should you start? How is it supposed to feel? Does that feel “normal”?
Just like with anything sex related, there are many questions that might come up. But as the saying goes, knowledge is power and being armed with answers when it comes to sex and masturbation usually means, more pleasure!
That’s why we have wrapped up a guide on how to use a vibrator for the first time.
Get To Know Your First Vibrator
You wouldn’t meet a new date without doing a little bit of research beforehand right? And can you imagine the success rate if we all came with a user manual! Luckily your new friend does.
You want to be more familiar with your new toy before you go all the way, so figure out how to charge the product, how to turn it on and off and what modes or functions are available. Many vibrators are targeted to stimulate a specific part of your pleasure anatomy while others can be very versatile. Vibrator brands will often provide tips on their website, specific to each product. Check if you can find that for yours!
You’d be surprised how many ways there are to use a classic internal vibrator…
Like Sex, It’s Not Like In The Movies
Inserting a vibrator into your vagina while working on a business report in Excel is unlikely to lead you to some mind-blowing orgasm. Unless you really have a thing for Excel…
Pop culture has a way of creating unattainable standards for many things; body image and sex are two that have very negative effects for people with vaginas. It’s the same with vibrators so instead of taking your cues from what you see on scene listen to your body.
If this feels a little frustrating at first, remember that while vibrators may technically be machines, your body isn’t. That’s why it takes some experimenting with your vibrator to find what you like even when you are using it.
A vibrator is a tool for you to explore new ways to self-pleasure and what works for your BFF might not work for you.
A Bit of Sex Ed For A Lot Of Pleasure
This might not sound so sexy but a little education can go a long way.
Traditional sex education, when any, often leaves us no wiser when it comes to our pleasure anatomy. As Peggy Orenstein puts it, “Boys have penises and erections, girls have period and unwanted pregnancies” or so that is what we are taught.
That’s why we suggest a very fun and valuable kind of education: pleasure education! What are erogenous zones? Are there really two types of orgasms? How come it feels complicated for some to climax through penetration? What are the most sensitive zones on the vulva and the vagina? Exploring these questions and understanding how our bodies work can give context to issue you might feel alone in.
This kind of learning is very practical, some might even say hands-on, but the best part is that there is no failing. The more you practice, the more you learn!
Set The Mood And Take Your Time
Music, essential oil, some erotica…whatever speaks to your senses most. Create a sensual space and make this a sensual moment for yourself where your new vibrator will be a guest star.
Once you feel relaxed and comfortable, give yourself a massage, cupping your chest or thighs...whatever feels good to you. Turn on your vibrator at a low speed, to familiarise yourself with its touch on your skin. Next, experiment in different sensitive zones of your body to slowly build arousal. Observing how the stimulation feels different depending on how and where you use it, and where it feels most pleasurable.
Breathe
Your breath is a powerful way to connect with your body and can enhance your experience of pleasure. If you notice a tendency to hold your breath or feel a need to rush, pause and breathe slowly. Start with a sequence of inhaling for a count of four while bringing your awareness to your clitoris. As you exhale for another count of four; completely release any tension.
If It’s Not Orgasm At First Try, That’s Ok!
There are so many external factors that could work against arousal and/or reaching an orgasm. If things end up less than satisfactory, during your next attempt switch things up! You can try another position, speed or vibration mode.
- Play with making the intensity gradual or alternating between a medium and a high setting.
- There is likely a mode with a pattern that fits your tastes better if you are keen to explore.
- You can also add lubricant (just make sure that it is compatible with silicone vibrator if that’s the texture of your sex toy!).
- Layering some material between you and an external toy if the vibration feels too intense. Or maybe, vibrators are something you would prefer a partner to use on you as a shared experience instead.
Like with a new partner, it might take some time to find what you like, and that’s perfectly normal. Additionally, if you feel it simply doesn’t work for you, that’s also perfectly OK. Maybe you’re not just a fan of vibration, or maybe you would like better a different type of stimulation.
As we have said, there are so many types of vibrators so we’ve listed some specific pleasure tips below depending on the vibrator you have.
External Exploration
External stimulation plays a CENTRAL role in vulva owners’ pleasure, yet it receives little to none attention. Here are tips on how to use a vibrator to explore external pleasure.
Tongue vibrators are a great way to get comfortable with or simulate oral sex. They are also perfect for exploring your whole body. Gently, softly, slowly, caress your erogenous zones from your neck, breast, belly, butt cheeks, inner thighs. Ask yourself where are your hotspots and how do you like them tickled? Bonus tip: add some lube on your sex toys to mimic the sensation of someone gently licking you.
If you have a clitoral and/or bullet vibrator, you can orbit around the clitoris’ glans or apply your toy directly on the glans as arousal builds up. If you need direct stimulation of the glans to climax, but the sensation is too intense add a layer of fabric, like panties or a towel, to cushion the vibration.
When it comes to the vulva you can definitely go beyond the clitoris! Explore the entire vulva including the labia all the way to the pereneum and the vaginal entrance which are sensitive spots too. Try cupping the entire vulva or use a vibrator designed to massage the whole area at once.
Other things you can try:
- As you edge toward orgasm, play with applying and lifting the vibrator in a gentle, teasing fashion to prolong your enjoyment.
- Increase and decrease the speed of vibration
- Try different positions: lying on your back, sitting, standing, kneeling, keeping your legs together or opening them.
Internal Wonders
The vagina has different sensitive zones, and because the internal structure of the clitoris wraps around it, internal stimulation acts as another way to stimulate the clitoris!
Here are a few tips to start using your internal vibrator.
- Take your time and start externally. Use the head of your internal vibrator to massage the clitoral glans, and the labia. This will prepare the vagina for penetration. You can even bring yourself to orgasm a first time this way.
- Circle around and inside the vagina’s entrance. Did you know that 90% of nerve endings are located in the lower third of the vagina? It’s worth spending some time there. Go in just a little, and out. Breathe slowly and indulge in the sensations.
- Lube up your vibrator for penetration, then insert it gently.
- In and outs: You can pull it out completely a few times if you like the sensation. You can also pull it out, massage the clitoris and insert it back into the vagina.
- If your vibrator has pulsation or thrusting mode, you will probably have less to do manually. If you have a hand free in this instance you might stimulate yourself externally directly on the clitoris glands and massaging erogenous zones you like.
Partner Play
Nothing dampens a sensual mood than pulling out a manual during partner sex, so get to know your vibrator beforehand if you intend to use it with someone else!
Here are a few ways you can play with it:
- Give your partner a demonstration in pleasure education, i.e have them sit back and show them what you like!
- While receiving oral sex from your partner, have them pleasure you penetratively with an internal vibrator.
- Adding external stimulation by using a vibrato on your clitoris during penetrative sex.
Want more partner play tips? We have a full article here!
A vibrator is an accessory as you explore your relationship with pleasure. Simply be curious about your sensations and remember that our reaction to sexual stimulation varies with our cycle, our stress level, and other life events, so using a vibrator can continue to be a new experience.
Take our quiz to find your fit based on your likes and desires.
-
Dance With Your Senses
We don’t discriminate! Great self-pleasure is much more than the sexual organs being stimulated. Invigorating all of your senses can help alter your state of mind, relax and then come fully alive for a truly transcending sexual experience.
-
4 Moments Of The Day For A Vibrator-Powered Break
Vibrators for women are always pleasurable toys, but sometimes, they can serve an even greater purpose. Here are 4 optimal moments to use your vibrator and reap the benefits of some solo fun.
-
5 Reasons To Buy Yourself A Vibrator
Curious to try ? Believe us, you are not the only one! Surveying thousands of women around the world, we found out more than half of women who DO NOT yet have a vibrator are keen to try! And if the taboo around female sexuality is still strong, things are changing and we all have a role to play!