The Female Libido Decoded

What Really Drives Women's Desire

What Really Drives Women's Desire

What Exactly Is Libido?

Put simply, your libido is your desire for sex or any sexual activity.

While libido is often thought of as sex drive caused simply by biology, it’s so much more than that. The desire for sexual activity is driven by human biology, but physical, environmental, and psychological factors all play a huge part in how your body becomes aroused.

Libido is directly related to how you relate to and interact with the world around you. It’s personal, and that’s why women should take control of their libido.

Let’s start with 3 basics facts about women’s libido

3 basics facts about women's libido

There are a few basics about libido that every woman needs to know.

  1. Sexual arousal has a biological component. Changes in hormones, amines, and other factors affect the dopamine pathways in your body, which directly affects your sex drive.
  2. Libido is different for everybody. Every woman has a different mental, physical, sexual, and environmental experience. Each of these factors affects libido stimulation or repression, and that causes major differences between every woman’s sex drive.
  3. Men do not necessarily have a higher libido than women do. While many people assume that men have a stronger biological need for sex, this is not true. A woman’s sexual desire can be stronger than a man’s, and a woman’s libido fluctuates greatly with her menstrual cycle.


The Social Aspects Of Libido

social determinants of libido

Libido is, in many ways, a learned behaviour. Unsurprisingly, social factors play a role in your desire for sex.

Positive and negative sexual experiences change the future of our sex drive. The possibility or impossibility to have open conversation about sex also impacts our libido. It is common for women to suppress sexual desire, particularly if they have not had the opportunity to discuss sex and sexual desire at home, with friends, in society, or at school. Without open conversation about sex and libido, your body can subconsciously stifle sexual desires.

Lastly, the lack of privacy can also affect a woman’s libido. Indeed, the mental state of feeling like sex or sexual activity is not possible is internalised, and the body can struggle to express a healthy sex drive.


The personal factors of libido

personal factors of women libido

Libido is complex. Not only is it different for every woman, but it’s also different from day to day.

One of the most common causes of low libido is stress. When stressed, the hormones in your body change and this decreases sexual desire in most women.

Low body esteem has also been shown to have an effect on how desire develops in women. When you have low confidence in your self-image, sexual desire can have trouble developing.

And that’s not all: medications, age, alcohol consumption, exercise, menstrual cycles, and more can all cause increases or decreases in libido.


Cultivate your libido to enjoy your sex life

educate your libido

Women who deal with disinterest in sex or a lack of sexual drive may want to take control of their sex drive. Can this be done?

While there have been a number medications for females developed in recent years that aim to boost sexual desire, pills focused on the female libido are still too new to be the right solution for many women.

  1. Create positive experiences of sex! As you have positive experiences with sex, you may find that your body desires sex more frequently or it’s easier to reach arousal. And masturbation is a great way to build a positive experience of sex.  Women who masturbate often have higher, regular libido increases. Knowing your body’s sexual preferences and regularly exercising your sexual desires, even as a solitary act, can help you increase and hone your libido.
  2. Talk about sex: Mindfulness therapy that focused on education was shown to increase sexual desire in women, showing that openness about sex encourages good sexual health. Since sexual conversation and education are not available for some women, unconscious repression might be decreasing libido. Sexual education and respectful conversation about sex can prevent repression from slowing down your sex drive.
  3. Explore your erotic imagination! Allowing yourself to embrace sexual thoughts and experiences can help increase your desire. Our brain is our first sexual organ and plays a major role to get us aroused. Erotic books, movies, graphic arts can be a great way to educate your sensual imagination. There’s a whole world to explore, far from the vulgar porn industry you might think of. Read more here!


Libido is an experience. Every body is different, and every woman’s desire for sexual activities is different, too.The more you know about your sexual body, the better it will react to your desires. And when it comes to libido, that release can make all the difference.

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