This lipstick vibrator is the baby of taboo-breaking conversations about sexuality and motherhood! We teamed up with Mumsnet, the UK's biggest community of mothers, to discuss sex and pleasure with more than 500 mums - and find out how we can help mothers (and others) reconnect with their sexual selves.
Moms are curious.
In a survey and focus group of Mumsnet members who had recently given birth, we found that:
- 75% worried about reconnecting with their sexuality after giving birth
- 80% were unable to find relevant info about reconnecting
Most mums also reported a lack of time, tiredness, and nervousness about penetration. Mums are curious to reconnect but don't know where to start. When advice is available, they find it often centers around partnered sex.
Prioritize your pleasure.
For mums wanting to resume pleasure, something is missing. Or should we say, someone? Between feeling like a vessel for your child's needs, and conversations about sex with your partner - where does your own pleasure come in? Your sexual wellbeing is important; looking after it can positively impact mood, confidence, and sleep. Making space for that is how mums can reconnect with their sexual selves.
‘As my baby gets older I feel like a vessel for his needs like my body exists to be climbed over, jumped on haha it’s all the lovely parts of being a mum but then my husband comes home and wants to do the same’
Moms masturbate too.
More than half the mums surveyed had masturbated since giving birth. Not surprising when you think about the pleasure benefits: masturbation positively impacts mood, confidence, and sleep and reduces stress. Solo sex can bring you back to feeling yourself physically and emotionally. Once you feel yourself, it’s easier to rebuild intimacy with partners too.
"I didn’t want anything to do with sex but I was interested in other activities that didn’t involve penetration"
Moms love external toys!
External stimulation brings mums, and a lot of vulva owners, the most joy. The mothers we surveyed on Mumsnet considered external toys much more desirable than internal ones. Why? Clitoral vibrators eliminate penetration, which comes with fear of pain, worry of change in vaginal sensation, and nervousness around scar tissue.
“Not interested in penetrative sex at all even now at 8 months post partum”
Come again, clitorally.
With its 10,000 nerve endings, the clitoris has a lot of pleasure potential. For mums, this sensitive spot can be stimulated without touching scar tissue, with control over the pressure - and it's the most likely way for you to reach orgasm again. A time-efficient way for you to reconnect with pleasure minus the pressure of penetration? Enter The Whisperer.
Reconnect with your partner.
First comes a baby in a rocking carriage, second comes reconnecting with your own pleasure, and then comes reconnecting with a partner. External vibrators can enhance intimacy between partners, helping you reimagine sex together. Share The Whisperer experience and explore new ways to spark sexual excitement.
We got it from the mamas.
Okay, so maybe you bought The Whisperer lipstick vibrator, scanned the QR code, and you're thinking - I'm not a mum - but somehow you scrolled all the way here. Well, often, mums know best. And, in this case, we can learn a lot! As vulva owners, we're likely to experience a disconnect from our sexual selves at some point in life because of motherhood, menopause, surgery, medication, stress... The same thoughts apply to reconnecting with your sexuality and prioritizing your own pleasure.
