Our community's stories.
What does the “first time” mean to you?
For some of us it might be the time we had sex with another person. But we know that sex is much more than what we do with others.
So the “first time” to many of us will conjure memories of realising that certain parts of our bodies felt more pleasurable to touch than others.We asked our community to tell us about the first time they experienced sexual pleasure through masturbation. Out of 294 people who participated, 190 remembered the exact event!
Some responses were heartfelt, while others were experimental or funny but all of them were deeply human; reminding us that female sexuality is normal and not something for fetishisation or taboo.
So indulge a little and let us guide you to reminisce.
*Turn this into an activity alone or with friends and use the prompts as a way to begin a journal entry or sharing *
How old were you during your first time?
Some people in our community answered as young as 5 or 6 years ola and research has shown that this is quite commonplace and that parents should encourage an open and honest discussion about the topic so that children know that it is a part of life.
After all it has been agreed by sexuality experts that “Sexual pleasure, including autoeroticism, is a source of physical, psychological, intellectual and spiritual well-being” (WAS, 1994)
Many of us however didn’t get to grips with masturbation until later in life; as teenagers or even as adults. If this was you, why do you think that was? One member of our community shared that her first time masturbating was in adulthood, on their honeymoon as the atmosphere was highly erotic!
How did it happen?
Holidays were a popular answer for location! Possibly because the new surrounds sparked a sensual awakening.
Many of us however were simply at home in bed and feeling curious while a few accidentally happened on unexpected pleasure. With a toilet hose gun, shower head or even a pillow! Trumping the American Pie-esque idea that all of us were rampantly horny teenagers consuming endless amounts of porn and filled with incurable shame or lust.
Sexuality for many under is a discovery that continues to unfold throughout our lives and began with a “what if...” moment.
We rarely toot our own horn but this message even had us deeply moved with how normalising female self-pleasure is impacting lives.
Who inspired you to think of masturbation as normal?
From catchy song lyrics to novels about “self realisation through sexual experience”, and public figures. Inspo was varied but showed us that pop culture is turning toward a more masturbation-positive vibe!
BFF’s and guy friends were also answers that we saw quite frequently.
One story about pleasure positive inspiration we particularly loved was -
“(my) college roomie in freshman year - she told me it was how she felt more comfortable during partner sex!”
Studies have shown it to be true too. Women who masturbate show boost to their self esteem and more satisfaction in partner sex!
Many people in our community shared that they felt ashamed, dirty and confused about exploring their OWN bodies sexually at first.
How can we get rid of feelings of shame?
While pleasure is a great reason to enjoy yourself alone sexually, there are also many health benefits of masturbation. Just a few are listed below.
●Studies are showing that female masturbation can also provide protection against cervical infections.
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●Masturbation is associated with improved cardiovascular health and lower risk of type-2 diabetes.
●Orgasm increases pelvic floor strength.
-Extracted from Health benefits of self cultivation by Carrie Levine, Certified Nurse Midwife
We can also get rid of that feeling of shame by bringing the conversation into the light of day; sharing our experiences with friends, staying curious and by celebrating and loving our ability to experience pleasure while championing people who do the same!
