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25 Aug 2023 (Last updated 25 Aug 2023)

Improve your sex life with your partner.

Pleasure tips 5 min read
Smile Makers Author
couples's vibrators

Using a vibrator designed for couples can help you unlock pleasure and increase intimacy.

Vibrators are designed for pleasure. Alone or with a partner, using a vibrator enhances your sex life. It’s a common misconception that these sex toys are just for solo, single people. In fact, 61%* of women who have a partner own a vibrator - and, whilst masturbation is integral to our sexual self-discovery regardless of our relationship status, there is also a lot of fun to be explored with a partner too. 

Any vibrator can be a couple’s vibrator when you’re creating a shared experience. They are not a solution for a bad sex life - rather an indication of a healthy one where partners want to deepen their intimacy and prioritize pleasure together.

Understanding partnered sex toys.

There’s no need to overcomplicate couples' sex toys; with so many vibrators available nowadays, there are many options for using on your partner, your partner using on you, or to use on each other. Clitoral stimulators are fan favorites for people with vulvas, whilst a palm-shaped vibrator is great for cupping testicles and butt cheeks. For something extra playful, a soft tongue vibrator inspires all-over bodily exploration of one another.

Using these vibrators during sex makes it fun and breaks routine, creating an intimate space to talk about each other’s pleasure. This consensual experience naturally opens up an opportunity for more communication and positive feedback, making us feel safe and building trust as a couple.

Benefits of partnered sex toys.

If you need more convincing on couples vibrators, here are some the many perks of sharing the vibrator joy include...

Increased pleasure and sensation.

1. Enhanced stimulation for both partners.

Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, so penetrative intercourse can be a lot more orgasmic with a vibe to hand. Being able to climax with a partner can be a turn-on for both of you.

2. Access to new and different sensations.

One of the best things about using a couple’s sex toy is that you can reach new speeds and rhythms that fingers, hands, tongues, or penises can’t. And, whilst the vibrator is busy vibing, you can be doing other things to increase sensations - caressing each other, kissing, watching… use your imagination.

Exploration of fantasies and role-play.

1. Adding variety and excitement to sexual experiences.

Vibrators really do ignite the imagination, providing not just physical stimulation but mental too. Toys get your creative juices (uh-hum) flowing and encourage you both to try new ways to play. Be that different erogenous zones, positions or motions. 

2. Encouraging communication and shared desires.

Sharing such experiences opens the door to sharing fantasies (especially if the vibrator is inspired by sexual fantasies like The Firefighter or The Billionaire 👀).  Expressing your deepest desires with each other is sexy and strengthens the intimate connection you have.

Deepening emotional connection.

1. Promoting intimacy and trust between partners.

Vibrators provide an opportunity to learn more about your partner and their body, and vice versa. Getting to know each other on a much deeper level allows for vulnerability - which fosters closeness. Something that can make sex that little bit more special and intense.

2. Encouraging exploration of shared desires and boundaries.

Being vulnerable with each other means sharing boundaries and respecting them. This will ensure you both feel safe and comfortable enough to let go and really enjoy the pleasure.

Long-distance intimacy.

You may not be physically with each other, but long-distance vibrators can help create an intimate sensual connection. Whether used during mutual masturbation or sexting, introducing a vibrator can get you both excited.

Choosing the right partnered sex toy

Choosing the right partnered sex toy.

With so many vibrators out there, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, so start with the basics. What type of stimulation do you and your partner want to explore, and who will be using it? If you’re both new to sex toys, consider looking at beginner’s vibrators. These user-friendly designs ensure 100% comfort levels.

You might want to share your favorite vibrator with a partner or buy a new one. Exploring all the fun options and functionalities can be a bonding session.

Other factors to consider include the type of material, whether is rechargeable and easy to clean too - and the price! Making a joint pleasure investment doesn’t mean breaking the bank. A couple’s sex kit means you get more bang for your buck (and extra lube).

Incorporating partnered sex toys in your sex life.

The vibrator conversation is a completely normal one to have, and a good one to have before you use one - just like anything in sex, it’s important to get consent. Asking to introduce a vibrator into your sex life with a partner might be a delicate question, but it should never be done with shame. Remember, it’s an exciting opportunity and a decision that is made together. 

Once you’ve agreed on the new erotic adventure (woohoo), there are different ways to bring vibrators into your sexual routine. Choosing one can be arousing in itself, or maybe one of you already has a trusty toy that you’d like to share.

Then for the fun part, actually using a vibe! No matter what type of stimulation you go for, we can guarantee there are plenty of ways to use it. As well as making the most of the vibrator’s speeds and modes, you can try different positions; dry humping with a vibe between you, against the clitoris during doggy-style penetration, alongside oral sex, spooning… You get the vibe.

Addressing concerns and overcoming obstacles.

If you’re vibing with the idea but worried about what it means to want to use a vibrator with a partner - worry no more; we’ve got you. Using a vibrator doesn’t mean the sex is bad; it’s actually pretty healthy! Having good communication and prioritizing pleasure are the foundations for a satisfying sex life.

If your partner is hesitant to use a vibrator with you, as they think that it will replace them or ruin sensitivity, reassure them that’s not the case. Vibrators are a very normal part of a couple’s sex life. Asking to use one isn’t the same as asking your partner not to be involved with your pleasure; it’s a couple’s activity!

We each have our own desires, and nobody should make you feel uncomfortable for expressing them. If your partner is not receptive and tries to shame or shut down, consider seeking guidance from a sex therapist.


Ultimately, vibrators can make sex with a partner more pleasurable and fun. The enhanced intimacy brings you closer (to each other and orgasms) and positively impacts your sex life. Making the joint decision to use one during sex creates space for open communication and ensures it’s consensual, leaving everyone comfortable to focus on pleasure. What more could you want from sex?


*According to a 2020 sexual wellness report by Smile Makers. 

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