If you’re reading this, we don’t need to tell you about the ups-and-downs of long-distance relationships. When living in different places, for a long or short time, a couple’s sex life is different. Less partnered sex, more solo sex perhaps. Less physical connection, more communicative connection. Both of these can help us discover ourselves – but missing our partner doesn’t mean we have to miss out on sensual intimacy together.
One word. Vibrators.
Signs that you need a long distance vibrator.
There are no ‘signs’.
We think it’s a bit of a cliche to assume that sexual pleasure is not a priority for those of us in long distance relationships. Firstly, solo sex is a significant part of our sex life. Secondly, we might not be getting physical with our partner but, hello, that’s not where sexual intimacy stops.
So, if you have found yourself here after doing some research, that is enough of a sign to tell you that a long-distance vibrator is a good idea.
Things to consider.
There may be just one sign, but there are a few things to think about when it comes to using a vibrator for sex with a long-distance partner.
- One or both of you might already own a vibrator for solo sessions, yet never thought about how you could use one together – even if you’re not in the same bed. Have you ever chatted about your masturbation habits before? Have you mentioned the vibes?
- You don’t have to buy a spandangled new gadget. A lot of sex that happens between long-distance couples is about communication, and shared experiences. A remote-control vibrator is just one exciting way to connect with each other.
- If you do, choose one ‘together’. You might have vibrators you use on the regular but choosing one together with the intention of using ‘together’ will make it that little bit more special and intimate.
- Will you both have a vibe to use, or just one of you? Think about whether you’d both like to be using one, or whether it’s a turn on itself knowing that one of you will be using it?
5 long-distance vibrators you should try.
From pleasure sets to pick and share together, to vibrators that replicate the moves your partner makes – here are some of the ways to introduce a vibrator into your relationship.
1. Partner Play vibrator set.
Sex should be fun, and long-distance sex is no different. Keep things playful with a pleasure bundle that you share. Exchange the goodies when next together and keep swapping each time you see each other. The Partner Play Set includes a tongue vibrator to use all over the body; and a palm-fit shaped vibrator that is designed to feel like a human-touch. Both can be used to stimulate all over the body, the vulval area and the scrotum or tip of a penis. Endless fun vibes!
2. The Ballerina vulval vibrator.
Sometimes it’s the hand of a lover that we miss the most during LDR sex. So, why not seek out a vibrator that feels like a cupping embrace? This pebble shaped toy is soft yet firm due to its silicone shell plumped up with silicone gel, a kind-of sexy stress ball – with much more satisfying results. The Ballerina sits organically against a vulva, which means you can also go effortlessly hand-free in the right position / squeeze of the legs.
3. The Poet suction toy.
Okay, so we know we said we miss a partner’s hand the most – but lips against lips is up there too, or tongue against lips. Yeah, no, we don’t mean kissing. We mean oral sex. Luckily for us, the tantalising sensation of sucking and blowing can now be replicated thanks to air-pulsation technology in this clit sucker. The Poet designed to be completely personalised, so you and your partner can choose how the stimulation is delivered. You can lock in the intensity of suction and pick between three different shaped mouths together. Plus, you can even squeeze the sides to increase the speed rapidly if one of you is climaxing and you’d like to try and come together. Top tip: add lube, just do it.
4. The Romantic vaginal vibrator.
If you’re a vulva owner, and your partner a penis haver, you might like the idea of replicating penetrative sex. It might not be all you need or want but using a dildo or vaginal vibrator can make you feel full, which can be weirdly comforting – even if you don’t do much more with it but keep it in whilst stimulating other erogenous zones. Though, The Romantic vibrator is known for its romantic gestures – hitting all the vaginal pleasure spots and slowing things down. We all know masturbation can be over real quick, especially if we know exactly what gets us off, but when you’re doing it together miles apart, you might want to revel in the moment that little bit longer - slow, sensuous sex is an idea!
5. A vibrator gift card
Opting for a gift card is a great way to set the intention of using vibrators in long-distance relationships and create an opportunity for you to pick one or two together. It could be that you both surprise each other with one that you think matches the way your partner likes to be stimulated or spend some time researching all the options and picking the same one – especially if you are both vulva owners. The process of choosing and talking about sexy stuff together can be a turn on, and lead to some LDR sexual activity.
How to use vibrators to spice up your long-distance relationship.
There is no one way to use a vibrator when part of a long-distance couple. Perhaps you keep it to your solo sex sessions - because yes, self-pleasure is important no matter our relationship status – or you both try out mutual masturbation from afar. If you want to make it a couple’s activity, here’s some inspiration to help bring you closer together metaphorically and erotically…
If there’s one thing the pandemic has helped us hone, it’s other ways to communicate. Sexting can be like the modern-day steamy love letters of years gone past, but it can also be much less… intense?... than that. We often think there’s an art to sexting, but more often than none simply putting down exactly what we’re imagining, want or desire can do to trick. You don’t have to be a sexy Shakespeare. You don’t even have to be wordy.
Sexting can be regarded as an umbrella term for analogue texts, picture messages, video calls, voice noting… there’s literally a digital sex medium for us all. Alas, if digital really isn’t up your street, or you’re not too fussed about in-real-time ways to inspire each other’s masturbation sessions – maybe steamy love letters are for you! Spritz of your perfume and lipstick kiss on the page optional.
Have slow distance sex.
In a long-distance relationship, solo sex is probably happening more often than partnered sex – which means you might have your masturbation routine down and know exactly what type of stimulation brings you to orgasm. So much so, that solo quickies are a thing. It’s time to slooow it down.
You might have oceans between you, but using a vibrator together means you can ride the pleasure waves – and you might want to revel in that experience. Slow sex involves deep breaths, tantalising touch in places other than your vulva or vagina, and edging.
Try mapping your pleasure.
We say it allll the time, but think about other erogenous zones on each other’s body that might like to be stimulated. You can use a vibe on a low setting to make it feel like a touch that isn’t yours, and really incorporate your whole body. If you have a spot on your partner that you like to kiss or caress, or one that you makes them groan, tell them – they might not have considered it has something they could touch with your guidance.
Set calendar invites.
If you’re masturbating across time zones, make a date of it. Send calendar invites to each other so you can carve out the sensual time to spend with each other.
Swap erotic entertainment.
Sharing your erotic fantasies or ways that you ignite your imagination not only creates intimacy between you both but can lead to you sharing the experience too. Send a link to your favorite porn, listen to audio erotica, or read each other sexy poems and stories. Level up? Why not write your own together!
Keep. It. Fun.
Play a sex game that pushes you both to think outside your routine stimulation methods.
Remember, that even in a LDR sex drive can fluctuate between person and over time, reviving desire in a relationship should be done with intention and thought – using a vibrator together apart may be part of that.
We hope this guide to long-distance sex has inspired you to explore the ways you can use a vibrator together – even when not physically together. Distance makes the heart go stronger, but it can also make the clitoris throb harder. No matter what, you’re always within vibing distance. Vibrators help you go the distance. Right, yep. We’ll stop now. Happy vibing!