Cancer is a total ordeal for the body and mind. Treatments transform our body, whether it is surgical operations, or chemotherapies that can cause early menopause. And sex may not feel very appealing. You can feel as if your body isn't yours anymore or has become only a place of pain. But your body is still yours to enjoy, you just need to reconnect to yourself!
"Cancer and its treatment may cause changes that are only temporary. If they are long-lasting or permanent, you can find new ways to enjoy sex" (Cancer Society of New Zealand, 2016).
Here are our tips to rekindle your sex life during and after cancer.
1. Have a date with yourself.
It is not easy to feel sexy or even want to resume sexual activity after cancer, when we had to go through such an ordeal. And our purpose here is not to encourage you to force yourself into it. But rather to invite you to take time for yourself, before thinking about taking it with (a) potential partner(s), and to rediscover your body.
You can, for example, take a moment every day to massage your body and caress you to gradually regain sensations of well-being and pleasure. Your body has certainly been the source of great pain but it also has wonders of pleasure in store for you.
2. Turn on your first sexual organ : your brain.
Develop your imagination by (re) discovering the creativity of erotic art: literature, drawings, films … Your brain also needs to be rewired and stimulated after the trauma!
3. Take your time to test new sensations.
Experiment! Your body has changed, maybe your tastes too. But there are countless ways to find pleasure and masturbation is a privileged moment to connect to your body and get to know each other better! Sexual pleasure for women varies greatly over time, it changes with our body, our hormones, our mood, our partner... It's always good to take the time to explore your body and rediscover it.
4. Never neglect your comfort.
Do not neglect your comfort! All these shocks and changes have a major impact on the hormones that regulate the vaginal secretions needed for lubrication. Vaginal dryness can make the relationship uncomfortable or even painful. Do not hesitate to use a lubricant: a quality lubricant will improve your comfort during the report but will also help regenerate the skin like a real care product!
Those latest findings about the clitoris are about to put an end to the big debate about the existence (or not) of two types of female orgasms: clitoral orgasm and vaginal orgasm. It might very well be two versions of the same thing!
In fact, the famous G Spot could be the area at the entry of the vagina, where the penis or another object, during penetration, enters in contact with the arch of the clitoris – the internal area where the two bulbs join.
The more the clitoris gets aroused and swollen, the more it will be sensitive to the pressure of the penis or another object during the penetration. Thus, all the orgasms would be clitoral, even the ones that some women feel as internal.
At last, women can move on to the real matter: how do they like to be touched? A question their potential partner(s) could also wonder about…
Going through a disease may give the impression of being dispossessed of one’s body, but it remains yours! Whatever you choose, take your time and respect your desires above all!