I do believe sex doesn’t always have to be deep or dramatic or mind-blowingly intense. Sometimes the best kind of sex is the kind that makes you laugh halfway through.
Because fun? Fun is sexy. Being weird together is sexy. And when we stop trying to perform or “do it right,” we open the door to something even better: real connection, curiosity, and pleasure that you will remember. Here are my fun sex ideas for couples to make sex more enjoyable.
Why playfulness in sex improves connection and pleasure.
We put so much pressure on sex to be perfect. The lighting. The sounds. The timing. And don’t even get us started on the expectations around orgasms. But real lighthearted intimacy lives in the moments when we’re fully ourselves, not when everything goes according to plan, right?
Sexual playfulness melts tension. It invites you to be present instead of performative. When you laugh, when you mess up, when you’re silly… you’re showing up as you are!
And research agrees: couples who laugh together experience greater relationship satisfaction and emotional intimacy, which are known to strengthen emotional bonds and promote feelings of wellbeing and security.
Sex isn’t a performance, it’s a playground. Stop pretending every sexual moment has to lead to an extraordinary orgasm. You’re allowed to have quickies that end in laughter or to try something new and totally fail at it. You’re even allowed to stop halfway through because you both get the giggles or someone’s leg falls asleep. Take the pressure off by being curious instead of goal-oriented. For example, focus on how it feels to be close, to be silly, to explore. And if you find yourself overthinking, break the tension with more humor because the moment you stop trying to perform and start being present, everything shifts. Here are four unexpected and playful sex tips to make sex less serious and way more enjoyable: Create a fail playlist for sex: I recommended to one of my clients and her partner to make a playlist of songs that would be totally inappropriate for sex (like cartoon intros or football chants). The rule is that you have to keep going no matter what’s playing. Eg. the Benny Hill theme and the Pokémon intro song. Iconic chaos. DIY funny sex dice: Write verbs like 'squawk,' 'boop,' or 'lick aggressively' on one die, body parts like 'ankle,' 'armpit,' or 'left earlobe' on the other and do what the combo tells you. Even if it’s utterly ridiculous. Recreate over-the-top movie scenes: Choose a scene from an actual over-the-top sex scene from a movie. Think the pottery scene from Ghost, the kitchen counter moment in Unfaithful, or the elevator scene from Fifty Shades of Grey. Full dramatic commitment required. Overact, exaggerate, add background music if needed. It's ridiculous. It's hot. It's kind of brilliant. Add a tongue vibrator: One of the most playful sex toys out there is one that mimics a tongue — perfect for tickle play and exploring erogenous zones you might not normally visit. A tongue vibrator is an easy way to add novelty, giggles, and unexpected sensations to your intimacy. You can also experiment with toys that don’t take themselves too seriously. The Smile Makers Collection Partner Play bundle is great for couples who want to play, discover, and stumble their way into pleasure without the intimidation factor. Real talk: things will get awkward. But those moments… they’re gold! They break the tension, they strip away the pressure, and they remind you that you’re two humans figuring it out together instead of robots running a script. Remember this, the most memorable sex isn’t the most polished but the most honest. So if things feel a little chaotic, a little weird, maybe even a little clumsy… lean into it. Give you permission to be real, that’s what makes it perfect. There’s room for sacred, intense, deeply emotional sex. And there’s room for silly, giggly, playful sex too. One doesn’t cancel out the other. Next time you're in your head mid-sex, say something ridiculous. Laugh. Get messy. Let it be fun again. Because sex isn’t a performance, it’s a playground. And it’s allowed to feel light, playful, even stupid… and still be really, really good. Promise.
How to reduce performance anxiety and enjoy sex more.
4 playful sex ideas to try.
Embracing imperfection = more pleasure.
The case for keeping sex playful and fun.
