This month’s masturbation diary is by Mira, someone who struggles with hormonal issues affecting her libido, vaginal dryness, and the challenges of getting in the mood when the family is around.
Living situation: Living with housemates in Belgium.
Relationship status: In a relationship with a boyfriend.
What sexual orientation best fits you right now? Heterosexual.
How many sex toys do you own? One.
Do you ever use lube during masturbation? Sometimes.
What do you call masturbation? Touching yourself to reach orgasm.
How would you describe your libido at the moment? Very low (hormonal issues).
Growing up, what kind of convos did you have about sex? My dad was very, very open about it so explained a lot of things, so I knew about the important stuff. But I never wanted to talk about deeper things like pleasure with him. I didn’t feel comfortable doing so; just didn’t feel right. But he definitely made it clear that it was totally normal and that there was nothing to feel ashamed of, etc., which was helpful since our society kind of tells you the opposite.
At what age do you first remember masturbating? I was very young but didn’t know what I was feeling or what it was, I just knew I liked the feeling. However, I was 12 the first time I reached an orgasm.
Mira's masturbation diary.
I masturbated nearly every day with my vibrator, but it took time to reach an orgasm; I had to think really hard to reach it. At the moment, I have hormonal issues which are completely ruining my libido. I never want to, and I suffer from vaginal dryness. So I rarely think about sex now. These issues are a bit problematic because I have a boyfriend, and it’s frustrating for us (I’m never in the mood, and if we have sex, we need to use a lot of lube, and I don’t feel any pleasure). I am going to see an endocrinologist soon, so hopefully they can help me.
Same as week 1 but with even less sexual drive.
I came back home and my boyfriend as well (we don’t study in the same city). I was not in the mood even though I hadn’t seen him in over a month, so I only pleasured him. I didn’t masturbate this week because I didn’t take my vibrator back with me at home (since I sleep nearly in the same room as my sister).
We tried to have sex with my boyfriend but didn’t have lube, so we had to stop. Then I got my period, so we couldn’t do anything anyway. We’ve already had sex during my period, that isn’t the problem, but since I got my copper IUD, my periods are very, very heavy, so it's too messy to do it. And about masturbating, it’s the same reason as the previous week: I just don’t do it because my sister is there.
Lube is always a good idea, many of us will experience dryness at some point in our life and knowing that lubricant can decrease discomfort and increase pleasure is super! Remember, when it comes to partnered sex, there is so much more to it than just penetration; exploring outercourse as the entire course, rather than just a starter can help us reconnect with pleasure. Outercourse is everything from cuddling, mutual masturbation, cunnilingus and clitoral rubbing.
Masturbation diaries by the Smile Makers' community are here to discuss what we rarely discuss... how we masturbate! We hope to inspire and prove that every one of us is writing our very own sexual story. We also adore that it's a great time to reflect on our monthly pleasure and note how it impacts our wellness!
Want to share yours? Let us know what a month of masturbating (or not!) looked like for you, and if we feature yours, we'll send you Smile Makers' goodie as a token of our appreciation for inspiring us all.