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07 Oct 2020 (Last updated 05 Feb 2024)

Motherhood and sexuality: our community speaks up

Sexual Health 3 min read
Smile Makers Author
motherhood and sexuality

Mothers feel like they can’t talk about their sexuality.

We’ve collaborated with baby food brand Mamamade to bring our communities together to understand what feelings or thoughts arise when it comes to motherhood and sexuality. What is our sex drive like during pregnancy? Are we taught how to reconnect with ourselves after giving birth? Is a mother’s sex and sensuality easy to talk about?

No More Keeping Mom!

By asking these questions we are bringing conversations about sexuality for moms out in the open. Helping break taboos that keep us staying hush hush about our sexual feelings from pregnancy through to birth and beyond. We want to normalize the perception of female sexuality through all the life moments we experience, and motherhood is one big moment for many of us. Afterall, it seems rather odd that many of us have sex to become a mother, yet there is stigma around a mother’s sexuality.

We asked our communities to open up about their experiences with their sexuality as moms, and from 132 respondents we’ve realized we really need to nurture ourselves and our sexual feelings.

motherhood and sexuality

Sexual Pleasure During Pregnancy: A Hushed Topic

Sexologists often talk about heightened sex drive during pregnancy. Just like during our menstrual cycles, our libido ebbs and flows with the hormones. It’s also mentioned how our bodies also become ultra-sensitive, with increased sensations in erogenous areas. 1 in 4 moms find their sexual pleasure stronger during pregnancy. But, how is this explored? Masturbation was the top response, with one soon-to-be mom expanding on her self-pleasure sessions with a first-time purchase of a vibrator and curious about erotica ‘the only time I ever watched porn.’

However, 50% of moms said their sexual pleasure was weaker during pregnancy. The lack of discussion around pleasure and sex during pregnancy could be contributing to this. From the mothers surveyed, 2 in 3 felt they could not talk about their sexuality whilst pregnant.

‘I wanted separate sexual pleasure from being a mother.’ Member of the Smile Makers community

Sexuality After Childbirth: In Need Of Guidance

Furthermore, 75% of mothers worry about reconnecting with their sexuality after giving birth. Yet, a huge 80% feel like they couldn’t easily find relevant information about reconnecting. This gap in information for moms and women about to venture into motherhood could be limiting our potential to find sexual pleasure and maintain a sexual relationship with ourselves, and that’s before even considering our relationship with partners.

We Need More Pleasure-Positive Education

As vulva owners, we are taught so much about reproduction and our sexual anatomy from a functional perspective ie. what happens biologically for us to become mothers. But, there is a huge disconnect in understanding the physiological, emotional and mental impact that motherhood, a huge life change, can have on a vulva owner. If we lack information about ourselves as sexual beings, how are we able to fulfil our pleasure potential as mothers? Finding sexual pleasure doesn’t just have many feel-good health benefits such as better sleep, stress relief and positive mood-boosting hormones; but it’s also a way for us to connect with our bodies. At a time where our bodies go through many changes, rediscovering ourselves can only be a positive.

Time For A Conversation

When it comes to how motherhood affects our sexuality, mom is not the word. We need to talk about it. The insights our community has shared with us indicates that there isn’t enough accessible information out there regarding reconnecting with our sensual selves during pregnancy and after giving birth. Once we make this kind of guidance more readily available, mothers may be feel more comfortable about exploring their sexuality.

For sexual wellness content that inspires even more pleasure in your life, follow @SmileMakersCollection - or check out our colorful collection of different types of vibrators for beginners and beyond.
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