Menopause And Sex Life: A New Beginning!

As we work with the medical community to create intimate products for women and vulva owners, we have in mind that our sexuality evolves over the course of our lives. We grow and we get to know ourselves better. For those that menstruate, certain experiences can mean rediscovering our body again and again: puberty, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause. These changes can challenge the way we experience our sex lives. So, we asked for the expert advice of a sexologist.

A menstruators’s life and sexuality can hold several hormonal milestones: puberty and first period, pregnancy, motherhood, and menopause. These key moments can have an impact on sexual wellbeing, sex drive and the way they feel pleasure. Sometimes dreaded, menopause can be a great opportunity to rediscover one’s body and sexuality.

Menopause: Perimenopause and Postmenopause

Menopause And Sex Life: A New Beginning!

Etymologically, menopause means “period ending”. This term refers to the time when the ovaries stop producing estrogen and progesterone, the hormones needed for reproduction. When someone goes through menopause, they stop ovulating.

The word menopause is used quite broadly, when in fact it is just one moment in a big phase of many vulva owners' lives.

Perimenopause: The time of life leading up to your last period. It can last 2-12 years, and can see the body go through lots of changes.
Menopause: It's actually a one-day event, that marks the 12th month anniversary since your last period.
Postmenopause: Your body is no longer ovulating. Perimenopausal changes settle over years.

Perimenopause and postmenopause can be experienced more or less positively, as it is accompanied by physical and emotional upheavals. In fact, hormonal changes have consequences on your mood and mindset: some feel more irritable, have emotional reactions that feel out of character, or feel more tired or more depressed. Menopause also affects the functioning of the body. This can result in hot flashes, night sweats, migraines … It all varies from one vulva owner to the other.

Menopause: An Overestimated Impact on Sexuality

In terms of sex life, the decline in hormone production leads to less immediate sexual reactivity. You may lubricate less quickly and less abundantly, and vaginal contractions triggered by orgasm may be less powerful. But that does not mean that the orgasm itself is less strong: pleasure from sex (solo or partnered) doesn’t go away during periomenospause and after menopause. Sometimes, it is actually easier to reach climax than it was before, because you tend to know yourselves better as you get older, and have more confidence to ask for and get what you like in bed.

However, menopause has a bad reputation: its impact on sexuality is often described as devastating. While it is true that hormonal disturbance can play an indirect role in the loss of desire, other external factors can influence it to a larger extent: routine, stress, seeing children leaving the house and parents growing older... Focusing on menopause can prevent you from considering other possible causes to these changes in mood and libido.

Reinvent Your Sexuality!

Faced with all the changes brought about by menopause, the key is to adapt to this new phase of life: menopause is a moment for you to rediscover your sexual self, by enjoying even more external play – which facilitates lubrication – and exploring other erogenous zones, and other sexual practices.

A lubricant can really be useful: remember that your vagina registers both positive and negative experiences, and so does your desire. It is therefore important not to let discomfort or pain persist. Do not hesitate to test several lubricants, and to choose a thicker one if necessary.

In your relationship, communication can change everything: tell your partner what you like and what you do not like, and communicate about your feelings. Because basically, no matter your age, knowledge of your body is key to your sexual fulfilment: the better you know your body and share that pleasure knowledge with your partner, the more satisfying your sex life will be.

Take charge of your pelvic health. Understanding how these events impact our pelvic floor muscles is key to navigating these changes optimally and finding the best ways to support your pleasure anatomy.

If the discomfort grows too strong, or you feel helpless about these changes, turn to your gynecologist who will be able to determine if medication, such as HRT, can help. Finally, and because every vulva owner is unique, do not hesitate to consult with a sexologist who will help you find solutions adapted to your personal situation and experience.

Written by Charlotte Creplet, sex therapist at Sexocorner

Read our blog for more tips on sexual health.

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