Just like with anything sex related, our first time using a vibrator can lead to a lot of questions. Where do you start? How do you know you’re doing it right? Wait, what even is a vibrator?
Vibrator curiosity is exciting! It means you’ve opened up to your full pleasure potential, and you’re ready to own your sexuality and unlock the significance of sexual wellness. Sounds serious? Well, it’s not - it’s a lot of fun!
In a recent sexual wellness study, vibrator users were 45% more likely to satisfied with their sex lives than those who don’t. Plus, vulva owners and women that use vibes are more likely to consider their sexual wellbeing important. So, getting started with vibrator masturbation can only lead to good things.
That’s why we have wrapped up a user-friendly guide to first vibrators!
How does a vibrator work?
Vibrators are, well, vibrating sex toys - or, as we also like to call them, sexual wellness tools! They create sexual stimulation and can simulate some partner sex acts. Their purpose is to bring pleasure, which may or may not result in an orgasm. Vibrators aren’t just for orgasms, but all the feel good vibes.
So, what makes these positive vibrations? A good vibrator is made up of many components...
- The spinning weight is one of the most integral, as this is the part that makes the actual vibration happen. The way the weight wobbles creates the different types of vibrations; buzzy or rumbly. How do you make a weight wobble? Well, it all depends on the mass, material and shape. A heavier spinning weight provides a more powerful motion.
- The distance from the center of the motor also affects vibration. Every good va-va-vroom needs a good engine right? Vibrator motors make the movement, and the RPM and rotational diameter can impact the motion ie. smoother vibrations.
- Of course, a power source is a necessity too. Some classics run on energy from a plug socket, but being attached to a wall isn’t so sexy. Portable vibrators are powered by single cell batteries or rechargeable lithium ion ones. It’s a common misconception that rechargeable is more powerful, as it’s more about the efficiency of the battery that matters. If it uses a lot of energy, the battery will drain faster.
- The PCBA makes the magic happen. The printed circuit board assembly allows vibrator creators to program pulsation modes and speeds that offer a more customisable experience for users. Not all vibrators have this, but without a PCA vibrator is pretty much a one-trick-pleasure-pony.
- These pleasure functions, and the power, need an on/off, toggle switch. Controls usually consist of a button that connects to the PCBA. Well-thought through vibrator designs place buttons to be ergonomically comfortable and easy to use during a solo-session.
- All of this is housed in a casing to hold the structure of the vibe. This is often made of plastic, and is often the only part that is biodegradable in a sustainable vibrator. The placement of the motor in this casing can also impact how the vibration is channeled to your erogenous zones.
- The skin of a vibrator not only makes it look good, but also offers protection. Simpler vibrators may not have this top cover, but those that do are often made from plastic or soft rubber. Ideally, a non-porous material, such as silicone, is best as they are much easier to clean. A cryogenically polished finish also makes silicone feel super smooth (especially against our most sensitive spots) and the vibe easier to store, or display - it attracts less dust!
All these components need to come together correctly to get the best, orgasm-worthy, end result. Checking they are sourced well with the right audits and certifications, then assembled with precision will ensure safety, longevity and a good experience. This is something to consider when shopping for your first vibrator; affordability vs how and what a vibrator is made with. Safety first!
Why do vibrators make us feel good?
As vulva owners, we might be familiar with diagrams of our sexual and reproductive anatomy, but how about if we put a pleasure-positive sex ed spin on it? When it comes to understanding why vibrator masturbation (or any, for that matter) can feel so good, here’s a few must-know things...
The female pleasure anatomy explained.
First things first, the vagina and vulva are different. The vagina is part of the internal female genitalia, whilst the vulva is all the external genitalia. This useful information makes understanding what vibrators do and what they stimulate much easier.
Secondly, there is much more to the clitoris than the eye can see. In fact, 300% more. The nub on the outside is just the tip of the entire clitoral structure, which internally wraps around the vaginal walls. It engorges with blood when stimulated, yep it’s not just penis-owners that get boners. The more you know about the clitoris, the more pleasure potential you unlock!
The clitoris is a highly connected organ that interacts with other parts of our anatomy during arousal and stimulation. For example, the plumping of the labia and the tingling sensations in our vaginal canal are partly down to the clit stim. Its 8,000 nerve endings, connected to another 15,000 more, are responsible for this pleasure power. All part of the sensational system of nerves, glands and pelvic floor muscles. See, there’s a lot more to female anatomy!
Vibrators touch more than just those nerves. Our body is scattered with types of receptors that react to light touch, and the places that these are found most densely are called erogenous zones. Neck, lips, breasts… with the right type of touch, these spots can be very sexually gratifying.
The benefits of masturbation.
So, a little education can go a long way right? Now, for some pleasure life-hacks. When we experience sexual pleasure, and the stimulation of sexual wellness tools like vibrators, our bodies release a concoction of hormones that initiate physiological reactions that make us feel good. These reactions also contribute to pleasure benefits such as better sleep and stress relief. The joy of vibrators is in the after-effects, as well as the pleasurable moments of stimulation!
What does vibrator masturbation feel like?
Whether hands-on or the hands that hold (a vibrator), self-pleasure feels unique to us all. Handmade sexual pleasure allows us to feel ourselves up, right? Our senses react to different forms of touch, and using a device and technology to simply increase and further personalise that pleasure.
Hitting those sexual nerves can feel tingly and fluttery, but what sensations should you expect from a first time using a vibrator?
We may have been tricked into thinking that all vibrations are buzzy, but that’s not the case. Some vibrations are surface level, whereas others provide a deeper, more rumbly vibration. A direct focused touch or indirect broader pressure impacts things, or a suction vibrator that doesn’t technically touch at all.
The great thing about vibrators is that, unlike with your own fingers or hands, you can create spontaneity. Masturbation without a sex toy doesn’t give you the opportunity to tease and arouse yourself through the unexpected, a titillating mode that many vibrators are programmed with.
Vibrators help build up to an orgasm, through constant motions and pulses that may not be achievable with just your hand. A variation of speed options is also something we might not be able to reach on our own or with a partner. Using a vibrator opens up the possibilities of masturbation techniques to try and pleasure patterns to play with.
One thing that vibrator masturbation shouldn’t be is painful! Though, they have been known to help vulva owners who find it difficult to feel pleasure when coping with penetrative pain, especially during partner sex. Vibrators can be life-changing!
How to choose the right vibrator: best vibrators for beginners.
We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again; sexual pleasure is so unique to each and everyone one of us. First time vibrator use is all about discovery, from reading up on an extensive guide to vibrators to know what’s out there, to understanding what stimulation YOU like.
The most recommended vibrators for beginners are often bullets or lipstick-shaped. They are small and compact without being intimidating or complicated-looking. This kind will get you comfortable with using a device for masturbation, and is almost guaranteed to provide a climatic sensation as most vulva owners need this kind of external stimulation to reach orgasm. If you want to also try penetration the first-time round, versatile vibrators allow for lots of exploration internally and externally.
See your first vibrator as a tool for discovering your initial pleasure preferences. Here’s some top things to help you choose...
- Take a quiz - Just like with partner sex, it’s easy to jump into solo vibrator sex without pausing to ask yourself what it is you really want from the experience. So, an activity that provides a fun opportunity to consider this will help you find a more personalised recommendation.
- Check out your favorite retailers - Sometimes it’s the intimidation of a niche sex shop that can put us off wanting to take the first step towards buying a vibrator. However, times have changed (hurrah) and you can now shop for sexual wellness tools in your everyday, unexpected shopping spaces. We’re talking grocery stores, bookstores, pharmacies… More and more mainstream retailers are putting them on their shelves and pages, so you can buy your first vibrator alongside your favorite skincare products or new outfit. What’s intimidating about that?
- Body safe - The majority of vibrators and sex toys are made from stainless steel, silicone and glass, and these are considered harmless. Some vibrators are made from rubber jelly or PVC vinyls and contain the toxin phthalates (pronounced thal-ates). Phthalates are added to hard plastics to soften them, but deteriorate over time and can cause health issues when absorbed into the bloodstream. Always make sure to check the details of any vibrator before purchase to make sure it is phthalate free.
- Silent vibration - Gone are the days of vibrators so loud they are an actual buzzkill. If you’re worried about making noise, or sound disrupting your own sexual flow, opt for a silent vibe. The sound does not correlate with the intensity or power of the vibrator. So you can experience intense sensations, in the greatest privacy.
What you need to know before using a vibrator for the first time.
Three essentials for first-time vibe users that will make sure it’s not the last...
1. Get to know your first vibrator.
You want to be familiar with your new toy, so read the user manual! Figure out how to charge the product, how to turn it on and off and what modes or functions are available. Vibrator brands will often provide tips on their website, specific to each product. Check if you can find that for yours!
2. Like sex, it’s not like in the movies.
Pop culture has a way of creating unrealistic standards and expectations for many things; body image and sex are two that have a negative effect on people with vulvas’ experience pleasure. It’s the same with vibrators, so rather than taking your cues from what you see on screen, listen to your body instead.
3. If it's not orgasm at first try, that's okay.
Sure, an orgasmic destination is great - but the journey is just as pleasurable. If you focus too much on the end, it can make it harder to relax and enjoy your first vibrator moments. Best advice? Head into the session with a ‘see what happens’ mindset. You’re simply putting out vibrating feelers to work out what it is you enjoy.
Like with a new partner, it might take some time to know your likes and dislikes, and that’s perfectly normal. As is the feeling that a vibrator simply doesn’t work for you. There are sex toys out there that don’t involve direct touch, and are inclusive of all types of clitoris sensitivity too! Plus, there’s no rush - if you’d rather keep exploring with your hands, your first vibe will be waiting for you when you want to take the next step!
How to use a vibrator for the first time.
Now, here’s where the real fun starts. You’ve got your first vibrator, now for a step-by-step guide on how to use it...
1. Power up.
Before you settle down for your first session, don’t forget to put batteries in the vibrator or charge it up fully.
2. Set the mood.
Music, essential oil, some time in front of the mirror, dimmed lights… whatever speaks to your senses most. Create an intimate space for you, yourself and, well, your vibrator. Easing into your sensuality will set the scene for arousal and sexual excitement.
3. Take your time.
Once you feel relaxed and in a comfortable position, turn on your vibrator at a low speed to familiarise yourself with its touch on your skin. Next, experiment in different sensitive zones of your body to slowly build arousal. Observing how the stimulation feels different depending on how and where you use it, and where it feels most pleasurable.
4. Feel yourself up.
Though you’re using a vibrator, it doesn’t mean you have to restrain from touching yourself with your hands. Take this opportunity to caress your breasts or inner thighs, to see if the simultaneous sensations kindle extra arousal.
5. Try out the different modes.
It’s likely your chosen vibrator has multiple pulsation patterns, so navigate through the options to see what you’re feeling this time. Sustained pressure and consistent rhythm is likely to increase excitement and anticipation. Build up by picking up the pace slowly, upping the speed level one at a time.
6. Personalize it.
Some vibrators have lockable speed modes so you can glide through your session at your favorite pace, or give you an option to save your preferred pulsation so you don’t have to remember it next time. Squeeze touch sensors are also a revolutionary way to adjust intensity seamlessly.
7. Try layering & other masturbation techniques.
Sometimes, the intensity can be a little much the first time round. To soften the touch of external stimulation, and gently approach intensity , try layering a piece of fabric between you and the touch. Using a vibrator over your underwear is an easy way to try this trick! The new vibrator sensations you experience are not limited. Play with different techniques; shallowing with an internal vibe, orbiting with a clitoral stimulator or grounding after climaxing (hello, multiple orgasms).
8. Stimulate your erotic imagination.
Sexual arousal is about way more than just physical touch. Our brains are one the most powerful sex organs, and fuel our emotional desire for sex and unlock senses. Sexual stimuli, like online erotica, can inspire physiological reactions such as an engorged clitoris, erect nipples and vaginal lubrication.
9. Add lube.
A vibrator’s best friend? Fun, generous and loyal - using lubricant can heighten the bond you feel with your body during pleasure sessions. Internally or externally, it can make things a lot more fluid. Always use a water-based lube with silicone vibrators!
10. Breathe.
Your breath is a powerful way to connect with your body to enhance your experience of pleasure. If you notice a tendency to hold your breath or feel a need to rush, pause and breathe slowly. Start with a sequence of inhaling for a count of four while bringing your awareness to your clitoris. As you exhale for another count of four; completely release any tension. Trust us, there’s magic in a bit of mindful masturbation.
11. Stay curious.
Once you’ve dedicated a self-love session or two to your new toy, you might learn how to reach orgasm with a vibrator. Once we know the shortcut to feeling that good, why would we want to take a longer route, right? Well, wrong. Whilst quickies are great, the best thing about a vibrator is that it's a tool for exploration of your relationship with pleasure. Simply be curious about your sensations and remember that our reaction to sexual stimulation varies with our hormones, our stress level, and other life events, so using a vibrator can continue to be a new experience. As they say, variety is the spice of life - and life is an adventure! Endeavour to play with different techniques using your vibrator, and when curiosity piques, try a second-vibrator for a new kind of stimulation.
Learn how to use a rabbit vibrator.
How to clean vibrators.
Care and maintenance for your vibrator is important; here are a few tips to keep your vibrator clean and ensure its longevity so it can keep giving you that new-found pleasure:
- For vibrators made from stainless steel, silicone and glass, warm water and soap are sufficient to keep it clean. Remember to use fragrance free soap to avoid irritants and to remove the batteries from electrical vibrators before getting them wet.
- For leather and hard plastics disinfect with rubbing alcohol.
- For rubber jelly toys or those made with PVC vinyls it is safer to use a condom with these to prevent any toxin in the materials from entering your body.
When storing your vibrator, remove the batteries. This prolongs the life of the batteries and makes it easier to clean your vibrator. Remember to properly dry your sex toy as you don’t want any nasty mildew to accumulate! Store your vibrator in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight and excessive heat.
