Tantra, tantric sex… It sounds very exotic, and definitely intriguing, but what is it really about? To answer this question, we decided to go ask experts, people who actually practice tantra and can share with us more about this fascinating practice.
We are orgasmic beings.
From our childhood on, we are taught to reject our sexual energy and sexual self. But sexual energy and orgasms are the actual cause for our being alive! Literally, we could not be here if at least one of parents had not had an orgasm at some point of their lives, that led to our conception!
Tantra is built on the idea that our sexual energy is what connects us to the world. Expanding on the concept that our body has several energy centers called chakras, our sex center mirrors our spiritual center and grounds us to the world. As such, tantra is about the expansion of consciousness and vitality through the channeling of our sexual energy. This may seem a bit exotic but if you are curious to experiment with your sexuality and be curious about your body and its sexual potential, tantra is a very exciting practice to learn about!
Clitoral orgasms are nice. Full body orgasms are better.
When we (or our partner) stimulate our clitoris, we may experience an orgasm. With tantric sex, the idea is to go beyond that and reap all the benefits of that sexual energy. A clitoral orgasm remains very localized, even if our whole body gets involved in it through faster heart pace and blood circulation. But the pleasurable release is felt mostly around our genital area.
Tantra teaches you not to waste sexual energy into only one orgasm but to bring the energy to where you feel you need the energy, to your other energy centers (chakras). As you experience an orgasm, you bring it up to your body, and build a multi-orgasm response that is to be felt in your whole body. It is hard to imagine, as it is still different than multiple clitoral orgasms.
Be fulfilled on your own. Then reinvent partner sex.
Tantric sex is a solo practice first. It allows you to have full body orgasms even without a partner, even without a sexual context. Through breathing, you anchor yourself into the moment and into your body sensations. Then you guide your sexual energy through your body. As you do, you expand your consciousness, and feel balanced and fulfilled on your own. It is both a physical, and spiritual experience to undergo.
For couple sex, tantra is about aligning the two partners. In tantra, men do not ejaculate, and they do not by choice. They build up their sexual energy, stop before ejaculating, post-pone it, but still orgasm without releasing the vital energy they release when they ejaculate. So, they can go on a journey of a series of orgasms with the woman until both can reach a full body orgasm. When the partners climax together, they connect in a way that is different from the experience of “usual sex”.
Tantric sex starts with the breath.
Intrigued to try?
Tantric sex is about practice. Knowing the techniques and the philosophy that underlies them is very important, but changing the way you experience your sexuality will not come from reading about it. So, we are going to share some very simple tips to start experimenting.
- First, ground yourself through meditation, to reconnect with your body and be more present to it.
- Breathe through your perineum, your sex center and bring all your attention there. Think of your vagina – your yoni -, and your breath will follow, it will focus on this sex center.
- You might, after a while, start feeling the pulsating of your yoni. No thinking, just feeling it.
If you are having sexual thoughts, or masturbating or in any way approaching climax, you don’t have to stop yourself. Try, through practice, to bring it up with your breathing, in order to transmit the energy to the rest of the body.