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07 Nov 2019 (Last updated 31 Aug 2023)

Love your inner self with these self-romance tips!

Solo Sex 4 min read
Smile Makers Author
The Romantic red vibrator touching a pink flower. Photo by Annika Wolter

When we think of romance we often think of couples, but these days more people are waiting a lot later in life before getting into long term or even a committed relationship. So, does this mean we shouldn’t expect romance in our lives? No way! Why should we wait for someone else to feel romanced?

Why you should romance yourself.

We know that being able give yourself an orgasm through masturbation boosts self-esteem so imagine the effects of this into how we treat ourselves all the time.

Most of our hobbies and even our entertainment focus on productivity or self-improvement but self-romance can be acts of pure indulgence. Tending to your own needs emotionally, which could include romance will certainly make you feel more cared for and may have a positive effect in your relationship.

Here are our tips for romancing yourself.

1. Whisper sweet somethings…

How we talk to ourselves massively impacts our self-esteem. It’s a rapid process because when we start to beat ourselves up internally, our bodies start to shrink and our posture is that of someone who wants to hide.

Get in the habit of correcting the negative self-talk with a kind phrase that grounds you and makes your lift your chin a little higher. What do you love about yourself? What are you proud of? If this feels difficult right now, remind yourself that you are fully deserving of feeling good and that the love you give yourself is unconditional. It might be a process, but dig deep and this can really transform how you feel about yourself.

If you a visual person then start a journal practice and no matter what has happened that day, make an effort to write one loving, positive thing about yourself. Try some journaling prompts to love your inner self!

2. Ignite your sexiest organ.

We’re talking about your brain! Put yourself in the mood and fall in deep with your characters journey. Our readers find this a great way to help them to get aroused. Feeling cheeky? Listen to an erotic podcast on your commute and no one will even know! Feeling creative: start writing your own erotica!

3. Take yourself on a date.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to be treated to a picnic date in your favourite park or have been waiting on a Bumble match to suggest a romantic restaurant and post meal rom-com. We say, why wait for someone else? Treat the most important person in your life to a delicious meal and a movie! Glam up and get out! If you feel self-conscious about dining alone, take a book with you or cook something new at home.

4. Awaken the senses with music.

Create a romantic playlist to get you in the mood. We asked our followers for their favourite romantic playlist and they didn’t disappoint us with a very modern take on romance! Check it out on Spotify.

5. Gift yourself.

We see you hustling hard and spinning all of the plates. The grind doesn’t stop but what you should make a break for is reflecting on your hard work. A gift doesn’t have to be expensive, just make sure that you are reaping the rewards of your labour. A great way to mark your career milestones, big or small is an emblem, a token of self-appreciation. You earned it!

6. Make your day tastier.

Another food tip! Swap your usual after dinner snack for something more indulgent such as a cacao bar or biodynamic wine as a treat and savior the moment for longer…if you can resist! On a budget? Dip your favourite fruit pieces into some melted chocolate, chill overnight and pop in your lunch box for the next day to add a touch of sensuality to your day.

7. Seduce yourself.

Turn your next masturbation session into a romantic liaison by setting the mood with a sexy playlist, using scented candles or oils and your favourite sensual toy(s).

Quickies are taking a backseat while we embrace mindful, slow sex. Yes, that means sex with yourself too. If the phrase slow-sex doesn’t exactly light your fire, we put it to you that this is your chance to have a seriously erotic encounter.

Start with mindfully curating any products you want to use (vibrator, oils, lubricants etc) and switch off your devices. This is not the time of an IG story! Drop into a completely relaxed state, using meditation or warm bubble bath and begin by lingering in the sensual spots you already know feel good with a self-massage. Then without any expectation of getting off anywhere, explore mindfully your vulva and vagina. Notice how it feels to be going slow and resist the urge to speed ahead by coming back to steadying your breath.

8. Prompt out your inner romantic.

We might think that the days of love notes are long gone but they really don’t have to be. Schedule yourself an email for a random day in a month’s time; listing some things you really love about yourself. Be bold! Bringing a smile to your future-self face unexpectedly, is ultimate romance.

Carry this sentiment of romantic surprise into your everyday life, by leaving sweet post-it love notes around your home; on your mirror, in coat pockets or inside books.

9. Discover internal stimulation.

Penetration isn't all about going deep, learn how to use a vaginal vibrator to help you feel a deeper connection with your sexual self.

For sexual wellness content that inspires even more pleasure in your life, follow @SmileMakersCollection - or check out our colorful collection of different types of vibrators for beginners and beyond.
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