Your cart - 0 items

07 Aug 2023 (Last updated 24 Sep 2023)

Using a sex toy with your partner: Everything you need to know.

Pleasure tips 5 min read
Smile Makers Author
Using a sex toy with your partner: Everything you need to know.

Using vibrators and sex toys with your partner can increase intimacy and deepen your pleasure sensations.

When talking about couple sex tips, toys should always be part of the conversation. Using a vibrator on your partner can enhance the sexual experiences for both of you, and it has a whole load of benefits. More intimacy, more playfulness, more pleasure. Need we say more? If you want to use a vibrator on a partner, here’s how to go about it.

Open communication and consent.

Like anything in partner sex, consent and communication are essential. Asking to use a sex toy on your partner may feel like a delicate question, but don't you dare ask it with shame. Instead, embrace it as an exciting opportunity to share more intimate thoughts with your lover. Picture this: sparks flying, hearts racing, and the unmistakable thrill of exploring new horizons together. Oh, the possibilities!

Sharing your desires also means discussing boundaries and how far each of you would like to go. Whilst this new venture is all about pleasure, it is also about comfort levels  - and ensuring both of you feel good mentally and physically too.

So, to kickstart your couple's vibrator journey, suggest choosing a sex toy together. By doing this, you create a special experience that's both arousing and intriguing for both of you.

Choosing the right vibrator for partnered play.

Whilst there are plenty of vibrators for couples, finding the perfect one to use on your partner is down to what they - and you - enjoy. What kind of stimulation do they enjoy? What stimulation could enhance sex for you both?

Key features to consider are the size, noise level, and ease of use. You want to be able to enjoy the moment without worrying about how to use a vibrator. Smile Makers beginner vibrators never complicate pleasure, and are always super easy to turn on, change modes, and hold.

Exploring pleasure zones.

There are some important erogenous zones that are well worth exploring with a vibrator. 

If your partner has a vulva, clitoral stimulation makes things a whole lot more orgasmic. A small but mighty bullet vibrator is easy to hold and fits into a lot of positions.

If your partner has a penis, they might enjoy having their balls cupped or perineum pressed? Something like a pebble-shaped vibrator, designed to cup a vulva, can also be held against your partner with the palm of your hand.

Vibrators help play with penetration too, and internal ones come in all shapes and sizes. Try vaginal penetration for the first time, or after experiencing pain, with a versatile vibrator that doesn’t go too deep; or, if your partner is looking for something more filling, a more phallic, dildo-shaped one could do the trick.

Anal stimulation can also be incredibly satisfying for many of us, and your partner might find a small vibrating butt plug a sensual addition to your sex.
Perhaps, it’s a more outer bodily exploration you’re both looking for. A tongue vibrator is a fun tool for tantalizing their nipples, neck, belly, inner thighs… you get the picture.

using a vibrator on your partner's nipples

Techniques for using a vibrator on your partner.

One of the greatest benefits of using partner sex toys is that they help us break away from our gendered sexual scripts, the ones that tell us how and what sex should go. As long as there is consent, there is no wrong way time to use a vibrator during sex,

You can use a vibrator to build arousal, to tease and tantalize your partner’s body. Some may call this foreplay, but really, this can be all that you do during sex - it’s playtime, after all. You can also just try some mutual masturbation using vibrators for a whole session. 

As well as sole focus on the vibrations, a popular way couples use vibrators is alongside other stimulation; think oral, finger, or penetration.

Using a vibrator on your partner, or vice versa, is all about maximizing pleasure. And in turn, intimacy. Especially when you encourage communication and feedback eg asking how something feels? Seeing if they want you to try a different mode or speed? etc.

Building emotional connection.

Vibrators bring you and your partner closer together and, most likely, to climax together too.

Open communication is key to truly expressing your desires, and those intimate moments using a vibrator together are a definite turn-on. It's like a secret code between you two - a language of trust and connection. So don't hold back; embrace the power of vulnerability - and vibrators.

Of course, so much pleasure can be experienced without an orgasm too, and however, you and your partner end sex, don’t let the open conversation stop there. Talk about how it was to use a vibrator together, what you both enjoyed and what you’d like to try next time.

Overcoming challenges and concerns.

Speaking of feeling vulnerable, there are of course, some insecurities you might experience when using a vibrator on each other. You’re only human, after all! Let’s squash some worries.

  • Vibrators do not replace you or a partner. They are sexual devices to enhance the real - or sometimes long-distance - connection you both had.
  • A partner asking you to use a vibrator on them doesn’t mean you’re not good. It means that your partner wants to learn and show you more of the stimulation that they enjoy, so you can both enjoy sex even more. Don’t forget many women cannot climax from penetration alone too.

When it comes to feeling completely comfortable, a couple’s sex kit is not complete without water-based lube, a must-have for silicone toys. Using lubricant on your partner will decrease any friction and also increase sensations.

Experimenting and having fun.

Remember, vibrators are designed to be played with and are a chance for you and your partner to get frisky together. Whatever ends up in your toy box, we guarantee there are many ways to play with it and your partner.

Using a vibrator during sex is fun and a great opportunity to continually mix things up.


So, can you use a sex toy on your partner? As long as it’s consensual, absolutely yes! From boosting sex drive to learning more about each other’s bodies, enhancing partnered sex with vibrators can have a transformative effect on your shared sexual experiences - and open up a whole new world of pleasure.

For sexual wellness content that inspires even more pleasure in your life, follow @SmileMakersCollection - or check out our colorful collection of different types of vibrators for beginners and beyond.
products/DTC_Products_Ballerina__2x_1.png files/DTC_Products_GS_Billionaire__2x_69fb6657-ff3e-4c32-8d73-63f1e6672ad7.png files/DTC_Products_GS_Firefighter__2x_89baf786-2231-4463-bbc4-4e4f21849ff6.png

Want 10% off your first order?

Sign up today to have the first of
many treats sent straight to your

We use cookies to give you the best online experience. Find out more on how we use cookies in our cookie policy.