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Sexting, sexting... one, two, three. The way that we communicate has changed a lot this past year, we’ve had to adapt to a socially distanced world that requires less real face time and more FaceTime. Work meetings on Zoom, birthday parties on video calls, fitness classes on Instagram, and even first dates take place remotely in apps now. But, what about sex? We’ve done even more to take sexual pleasure into our own hands; in the midst of a self-love revolution, we've seen sex toy sales boom and our masturbation curiosity piqued. Yet, as our favorite fictional columnist would say, we couldn’t help but wonder: what happens if we want more than solo-sex, if we want to connect with another person sexually?
‘How to sext’ searches almost doubled in popularity last spring when the world went into lockdown, proving that when we’re unable to see our sex buddies, meet potential partners or try out long distance; we want to find alternative ways to connect and get creative with our communication!
No, not everybody! In a recent Smile Makers Instagram poll, of nearly 400 participants, 41% shared they hadn’t sexted in the past 12 months. However, 78% gave a big ‘yay’ to sexting in general. As true sext-advocates, we thought we’d ask those members of our community to share their sexting tips and inspiration – because where better to get some sext advice than from your sex-positive peers?
First things first, just like any IRL sexual interaction, make sure it’s consensual from both you and the other person. Being open-minded to new experiences doesn’t mean you have to ignore uncomfortable feelings, if something doesn’t feel right – or you don’t want to partake – don’t. Keep in mind that messaging, like actual partner sex, is supposed to be pleasurable and stimulating for you both.
Okay, so you’re keen to get in on these feel-good advantages but you’re not sure when to do kick things off? As we mentioned earlier, make sure it’s consensual – and respectful of the other person’s time or surroundings. Check in to see if now’s good timing, and whether they’ve got an appropriate set-up to give the sext session the attention it deserves!
Many of our sexters noted night time as their favorite time to get frisky over the phone, just before sleep. We all know that orgasms are a great way to send us off to the land of nod! As mentioned, sexting also creates space for spontaneity – midday musings make for a great afternoon pick-me-up, whilst some sexters are turning to their phones rather than the refrigerator for their midnight snacks – yesss!
The most common answer? ‘Any time! Whenever I’m in the mood.’.
Writing is an erotic creative output that allows us to run with our imagination, but there’s more to sexting than just words. Sometimes we can’t quite find the words, or we just can’t be bothered to type things out, perhaps our hands get a little full, if things are going well; what about other ways we can communicate through the phone? Here’s some tips...
Words are not our only language, emoticons have come a long way from brackets and colons, and now we have a whole dictionary of symbols at our fingertips. It may sound silly, but these little symbols can work mighty fine in expressing something that we can’t type – or don’t have the time to... Here’s the top ten sexting emoji suggestions!😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
For those of us that haven’t tried sexting but want to, our community left us with lots of sex-positive advice!
Sexting is a great opportunity to introduce toys into a relationship; you can tell your partner how you like to use it on yourself, or guide them on to use theirs. Though, relationship or not, there’s some vibrators that are made for such sexting occasions...
The Ballerina’s ergonomic shape means you can place it on top of your vulva and still hit the clitoris and vaginal opening. To go hands-free, try squeezing your legs to gather to keep it in place or lay on your front with it between your thighs; hello both hands for easier texting!
The tongue-like tip of The Frenchman mimics French kisses wherever you want them on your body. Circle your nipples or ‘lick’ your vulva up and down to recreate a partner’s oral touch, or stick to feathery strokes up and down your favorite erogenous zones. Our tip? Use lube for wetter sensations!
In a year where stress levels have been high, many of us more so than ever have turned to self-love and consequently we’ve all given our sexual wellbeing a bit of TLC and attention!
The sensuality of erotica has never been more so available than it is today. In 2020, us vulva owners are owning our sexy imagination and embracing our erotic side to fire up our desire!
Matthew’s lips smooched my mouth with heated passion, and I matched his tongue, stroke for stroke.